SUMMARY​

​I Hate Clowns is a fun and lighthearted play about a young woman named candy, who has decided to visit a psychiatrist about her intense hatred of the “serious impaired.”  She quickly discovers, to her disappointment, that the Shrink is a bit of a kook, who comes in thinking Candy is a different patient. After finally convincing the Shrink of who she is, Candy then has to convince her that she hates clowns, and is not afraid of them, despite the Shrink’s protest. As they sort through the root of Candy’s issues, Candy slowly becomes aware of all the bizarre events that are happening around her, such as the clowns who have been singing and dancing throughout the entire show, providing transitions between scenes. She also begins to see flashbacks that the audience members, and apparently the Shrink, have been watching and then she even begins to interact with them. As reality, the past, and delusions collide, the only advice that the Shrink ever gives is, “You need a vacation.”

SETTING

“I Hate Clowns” takes place in the SHRINK’s office. Not much is needed as the set is meant to be bare-bones.  Stage Right there can be a set of platforms or risers meant to be seating during a circus vision. Center stage there are two chairs with a small table with a portrait of a dog between them. Stage Left consists of a table with cups and a water pitcher.

CHARACTERS

​14 Characters:  1 Male, 8 Females, 5 Either

​​CLOWN CHORUS:	(E) There are FOUR clowns in the CLOWN CHORUS, known only to us by number.  They all have over done accents.  Each one has a different accent, so that no two are the same.  One may be British or Cockney.  One may speak totally hick.  Another may even speak with a German, Irish, Indian, or Brooklyn accent. Gender doesn’t matter.
​CLOWN CONDUCTOR:	(E) ​The CONDUCTOR leads the CLOWN CHORUS and is basically like a really messed up drill sergeant or marching band drum major.  He could have an Asian accent
​​CANDY:	(F) ​​Candalaria Delores de la Cabeza. Really Hates Clowns.
​SHRINK:	(F) ​The Psychiatrist.  Also plays Penny at the end of the play.
​KIDS:	(F/M) 5 Girls, 1 Boy
​​YOUNG CANDY:	(F) ​​Candy as a child